IT’S ONLY KINKY THE FIRST TIME

IT’S ONLY KINKY THE FIRST TIME

By Stephen A Duncan

I must confess, I allow a man to put his fingers into my mouth. You know… it’s only kinky the first time. In fact, I drive a fair distance out of Indianapolis under the cover of darkness to experience this moment. It’s okay… relax, he is my dentist.

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Jim Morse, my dentist at the front desk

James (Jim) Morse owns his own dental practice in Crawfordsville, Indiana. It took me a while to ask him to be my dentist, but Jim has worked on my teeth for years. I met Moosefa. (I have no idea why he calls himself that name) 14 years ago when Jim Tsareff was putting together a Motorcycle Club in Indianapolis.

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Jim Morse “Moosefa” on his Honda Valkyrie at the Dog and Suds in Indianapolis.

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Tsareff called his new club a Cruiser Motorcycle Club. I was riding a 1500 Gold Wing touring bike at the time. What was I, a touring bike enthusiast, doing attending a meeting with a bunch of barbaric cruiser bike riders? It must have been at one of those wild and crazy motorcycle meetings that our paths crossed and we became good friends.

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“Moosefa” enjoying a burnout by a wild and crazy Cruiser Club member.

With the Duncan’s getting ready to make the move to Florida, I made an appointment for a checkup and cleaning a few weeks ago. Jim is aware we are moving to Florida. He is also a snow bird and has a place in Winter Haven, Florida. He is aware we have sold my father’s home, (Story Here) and my home (Story Here) and knows we have one home left to sell in Fishers, Indiana. I only hope we get to see each other over an adult beverage when he and wife, Lady Di, come to Florida.

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So, losing Jim as my dentist is not something I want to embrace. This will more than likely be my last dental visit with Jim. One reason I changed dentists years ago is because I felt the young, very good looking blond woman cleaning my teeth at the “other place” was just poking around and I never felt I was getting a good “deep cleaning.” After my second visit with her I challenged the dentist and he was way too protective of his new pretty blond hygienist and her abilities. The dentist was also not impressed that I would challenge him, or a member of his staff, including his new sexy, young, good looking trophy in his office.

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I asked Jim, If I start coming to you for my dental needs do you have a dental hygienist who knows how to dig deep and can really clean my teeth?” Jim assured me that he had a very attractive and aggressive German dental hygienist named Lady Di who takes no prisoners. I asked him again, “Does she really do a good job of cleaning?” I told him I thought the hygienist at “the other place” was doing the dentist and that’s how she kept her job. She sure didn’t know how to clean teeth, or she didn’t know how to clean mine.

Jim wanted to know what was wrong with “doing” the dental hygienist. I’m “doing” mine.

“You’re doing your dental hygienist?”

“Yeah, Diana’s my wife. She has been my wife for 35 years. All I can tell you is she has 33 years of experience with guys like you. She’ll clean your teeth!”

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I remember my first cleaning in her chair. She put a body slam on me, pressed me in the chair and made me bleed alot. But when I was finished, I felt like there was nothing on, or in, my teeth. I found out later Diana received advance warning from Jim to rough me up a little. I wanted my teeth deep cleaned and she went after me like 30 grit sand paper on a plank of unfinished wood. Lady Di even spoke to me in a German accent. “You will do as I say, or face de consequences!”

It’s bitter sweet, knowing you have a service provider and a very close friend who takes care of your dental needs. Dentists who know their stuff are hard to come by. And the idea that I will be starting a new life in Florida with an unknown dentist, doctor, and other providers is a little daunting.

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Jim and his wife, Diana, or Lady Di as he calls her from time to time, has a wonderful staff on board. When you first walk in you are met by Cherish. Cherish has been with Jim and Diana for the last three years. Cherish is currently engaged to be married and I have tried everything I know to discourage her from making this life altering mistake.

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Carrie is the “Enforcer of Accounts”. She is the one who calls me and wants money and wants it now. I keep telling her I’m on a fixed income, give me a little slack. Carrie worked at the sheriff’s office before joining Jim and I can always hear that growl in the back of her throat that makes me surrender my charge card numbers over the phone. I asked her if she would fix my computer problems. She plays the computer keys like Ludwig van Beethoven plays a piano Concerto on a Steinway.

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There are two other women in the office who would not allow me to take their pictures. Jim has a couple of gals who hold my hand and remove the slobber from my lips while I’m under the light. They put the little bib under my chin. They mix the magic stuff that fills the holes in my head. If I don’t mention them, I may face a painful experience if I return for another visit. Thank you Jennifer (18 years of faithful service) and Ashley, (4 years.)

Well, that’s part of the story when you pull up roots and move to a new state. Moving to Florida after living in Indiana my whole life is a real emotional challenge in some ways. I can only hope I will find new friends and service providers in Florida as I enter… “The Stemmed Glass Stage of My Life.”

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About the author

Stephen A and Scott Duncan publish "ByDuncan.com" Scott photographs (Duncan Photography) and is the guy who keeps this site running. Steve (left) is a photographer (Duncan Photography) and writes to "ByDuncan.com"